Prepare for the safest way to leave an abusive relationship by devising your personal safety plan and reviewing it often!

SAFETY DURING AN EXPLOSIVE INCIDENT
If an argument is unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that is close to an exit and not in the bathroom, kitchen, or near weapons.
Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator, or stairwell would be best.
Have a packed bag ready and keep it in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly.
Find a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask them to call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.
Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police.
Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don't think you will need to).
Use your own instincts and judgement. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what he/she wants to calm him/her down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.
Always remember that you don't deserve to be hit or threatened!

SAFETY WHEN PREPARING TO LEAVE
Open a savings account in your own name to start to establish your independence. Think of other ways to increase your independence.
Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, and extra clothes with someone you trust so you can leave quickly.
Determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money.
Keep the shelter phone number close at hand and keep some change or a calling card on you at all times for emergency phone calls.
Review your safety plan as often as possible. Leaving your abuser is the most dangerous time.

SAFETY IN YOUR HOME
Change the locks on your doors as soon as possible. Buy additional locks and safety devices to secure your windows.
Discuss a safety plan with your children for when you are not with them.
Talk to your child's school/childcare provider about who has permission to pick up your child. Tell them to call the police if an unauthorized person attempts to pick up your children.
Inform your neighbors and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and they should call the police if they see him/her near your home.
Never call the abuser from your home. If he/she has caller ID, he/she may be able to locate your residence.

SAFETY WITH A PROTECTIVE ORDER
Keep your protective order with you at all times.
Call the police immediately if your partner breaks the protective order.
Think of alternative ways to stay safe in case the police do not respond right away.
Inform family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors that you have a protective order in effect.

SAFETY ON THE JOB AND IN PUBLIC
Decide who at work you will inform of your situation. This should include office building security (provide them with a picture of your abuser if possible).
Arrange to have someone screen your telephone calls if possible.
Devise a plan for when you leave work. Have someone escort you to your car. Use a variety of routes to travel home. Think about what you would do if something happened while going home (i.e. in your car, on the bus, etc.)

SAFETY AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH
If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust.
If you must communicate with your partner, identify the best way to do so.
Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs.
Read books, articles, and poems to help you feel stronger.
Attend a support group to gain support from others and to learn more about yourself and your relationship.

WHAT YOU NEED TO TAKE WHEN YOU LEAVE:
  Identification
  Driver's License
  Child's Birth Certificate
  Your Birth Certificate
  Marriage Certificate
  Money
  Lease, Rental Agreement, House Deed
  Bank Books
  Checkbooks
  Insurance Papers
  House and Car Keys
  Medications
  Medical Records (self and children)
  Social Security Cards
  Social Service Identification Papers
  Green Card
  Passport
  Divorce Papers
  School Records
  Small objects to sell for extra cash
  Address Book
  Pictures
  Jewelry
  Child's Small Toys

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